Throwback Thursday: Physics is designed to crush souls

Ok so background…this blog was posted on another platform October 5th 2014. At the time I was in my first semester at Texas A&M University. I believe my counselor had enrolled me in 3x more credits than I had ever taken before. We had just moved to Texas in July of that year. I had three awesome kiddos aged: 7, 5, and 3

The kiddos Fall 2014

I am DROWNING in a sea of school work and life. (I wish I had been exaggerating, but I felt so overwhelmed) If I survive this semester then I will be amazed. (Not many know that I attempted to take a couple too many pills I was on at this time. I often thought about just throwing myself in front of the bus. This experience made Richard and I very aware I needed to seek help) One would think putting so much pressure on someone like myself will only crack me. (Clearly it did, but I got myself some glue and put the pieces back together) I am in tears when I do my physics homework. I never took this course in high school and this is my first introduction to it. One might think, but Christine, your husband is a budding physicist!?!?!? (Okay so I think this fact just made it worse. He is BRILLIANT and I was not used to struggling that much. Even my father-in-law attempted to point out that he had been teaching Richard these principles since toddler-hood. He had a HUGE head start. Yet when you are that deep into it, you can’t always see the logic to these arguments.)

Yeah….he is pretty great.

Honestly, I appreciate Richard so much. He sat there as I pounded my head on our headboard (quite literally) bawling my eyes out. He walked me through the dark moments so I could survive. He did everything he possibly could to help me. He never stopped believing in me. I swear he had the patience of a saint…I was not an easy person to teach at the time.

Too true, I should be overflowing with joy at the resources before me. Yet he is kept so busy by his work and I am not an easy person to tutor. I think the pressure is getting to me and one this is certain. IF I make it through this semester, next semester I will not allow the department to load me with 16 credit hours! 😦

I used to study at her games.

That semester taught me about my limitations and how much my mental health really mattered. It wasn’t about keeping up the pace with those who didn’t have the complicated life I led, but rather going at the pace I could handle. I fell back to half time and just kept chugging at it. In May 2018 I graduated with my Bachelors of Science in Chemistry with a minor in Anthropology. I had so many amazing individuals who helped get me through it all. Some professors realized how hard wearing all the hats I did was….others had no clue. It was the amazing ones that got me through the bad times.

Oh and a life update… Richard is still a grad student and getting closer and closer to that PhD.

Currently listening to: “How does a moment last forever: -Celine Dion

Published by Curious Alchemist

Stay at home mom of 5, book enthusiast, amateur seamstress, and a host of other little things.

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