Overwhelmed and overworked…Anxiety at an all time high.
This last holiday season was rough, but wonderful. It was hard because my anxiety is at an all time high. Living in this little house already has added stress just made me feel like I was drowning a little more everyday. I have to be honest, it has been hard to drag myself out of bed. Not because I am depressed, but rather because Anxiety rears its ugly head in the middle of the night such that I can not sleep.
I worry about all of the craziest things. For example, my best friend has a railing in the second floor of her house that is a bit older so it has slightly wider rails. I woke up in the middle of the night and was worrying about this, that, and another thing. Upon these middle of the night ramblings I thought of my best friends family. She and I have babies only about 7 weeks apart in age. I started to worry that when he starts to walk and lives in the second floor of the house, he may fall. Mind you that he isn’t crawling yet and spends little to no time upstairs right now. Also I am not his parent and I know his mom will take care of the issue when the time comes. She is far less of a worrier than I am, so why am I sitting here awake at 3 am.
It would seem as I get older I get more concerned with planning ahead for anything bad that *might* happen. Which at times can be quite overwhelming as I spiral from one far fetched event to another. Does anyone else do this??
So I slept quite a bit over the holiday break, did not blog at all, and well just let my anxiety rule me for awhile. Currently trying to get myself back on track and get this anxiety in check. I used to take daily medication for this, but before conceiving my 4th child I decided to try to manage with weekly therapy. It has gone pretty well, but we all have those ups and downs. Some days its better, others its worse. Join me on the roller coaster ride if you will…
Song that I am obsessed with right now: “when the partys over” by Billie Eilish